Happy Fresh Start Friday!

A particular scene from the movie Fences (2016) starring Denzel Washington and Viola Davis plays in my mind whenever I think about families breaking negative patterns.

In the scene, Cory looks at his father with a slight hesitancy in his voice and asks: "How come you ain't never liked me?"

Troy pauses, as if the question is foreign to him. Then, in his gravelly voice, he lays down a truth that does not feel soft or gentle. The response is from his own understanding of the world. He answers by saying (paraphrased):

"Like you? Who the hell say I got to like you?...You eat everyday. Got a roof over your head. I give you clothes. I don’t have to like you."

It’s not the answer Cory hoped for. He wanted warmth and reassurance.
However, his father’s version of love was shaped by survival, not softness. For Troy, love was measured in duty, not affection. He understood providing and not being present. Bread on the table, not hugs in the hallway.

For many families, that’s the "love" passed down through generations -taught over and over. A love that worked hard but rarely spoke. A love that paid bills but never said, “I’m proud of you.” A love that might have been doing its best, but still left little you hungry for affection.

Here’s the thing:
​A fresh start doesn’t erase the love we didn’t get, it gives us the power to define it differently going forward. It lets us create relationships where care is both shown and spoken. Where responsibility meets tenderness. Where love feels like safety and sounds like “I’m here.”

So maybe today, the fresh start is this:

• To stop confusing survival for connection.
• To give the love we wanted, not just the love we observed.
• To say the words we needed to hear, to ourselves and to others.

Yes, providing matters. But love? Love should be felt in the room, not just in the refrigerator.

Here’s to doing it different. Here’s to your fresh start.

​
With love and confidence,
​

Kim Wilson
www.kimwilsonspeaks.com